The Universe as Diety

The Universe has become the go-to for good things in life.

My nephew — who’s only interest in life (at age 17) is money — recently asked me for referrals for his new financial service business (Huh?). I told him to remember to “give back” as his success grows. Whether it be for PR reasons, or (preferably) because it’s the right thing to do, find a way to do it.

His response was, “I literally just read about giving back and then you texted me that was the universe giving me confirmation on that topic haha”

I texted back “Confirmation comes from within, not without. Find it in your heart.”

To which he said “you’re right, that’s deep thank you”

I hope he remembers that.

little pink houses

little pink houses

I’m dogsitting in the outer Richmond neighborhood of San Francisco. Walking distance to the Legion of Honor, Land’s End, and Golden Gate Park. It is BEAUTIFUL here. Homes cost a fortune here. I enjoy stepping into other peoples lives for a spell, in the same way I enjoy acting. Living other people’s lives.

Yesterday as I was walking my Rottweiler/black Chow mix charge down 36th Ave., I spotted a woman across the street walking her purebred, pristine white Samoyed. She was blonde like me, middle aged like me. We waved when our dogs barked at one another from afar.

I saw her at the dog park today. She’s lovely. She and her husband live in the home they own (with their three children) just across from where I’m dogsitting. We talked a little. I told her how I’m looking (always looking) for work that is closer to my heart, but it’s been difficult; and at this age you just don’t walk away from full benefits, no matter how much the current job crushes your soul on a daily basis.

The white picket fence and 2.4 children alternative.

The white picket fence and 2.4 children alternative.

And she said, “If you just put it out there, it’ll come to you. I believe that! If you just put it out there to the universe, it’ll happen.”

Where is this universe of which you speak?

I didn’t want to tell her she’s wrong –hell, I really want her to be right — but after feeling like it’s been upstream swimming on every front — personally, professionally, you name it, I just can’t get behind this “The Universe Delivereth” belief system.

And then it hit me… what if she were me, or rather I were her, in an alternate universe? What if I had enjoyed my Las Vegas corporate job in my 20s enough to stay on that path, rather than abandon it in San Francisco to study creative writing and filmmaking while waitressing at night? What if I’d been drawn to the conservative guy with the 9-to-5 with 2.4 children gleaming in his eye, rather than the intellectuals and the rugged creatives that I found far more interesting (and fun!)? Might I have been that woman across the street for whom struggle was finding a suitable dog walker? Might I be happier than I am now? Might I truly now believe that the Universe truly doth deliver if ye merely ask of it?

But there are no do-overs, and I suspect that finding a suitable dog walker is far, far from her biggest problem. All in all it’s not bad. But I do envy her sense of optimism. Or do I? Would she be absolutely crushed by some of the things the universe has hurled at me at full force, things that I’ve managed to deflect (and still manage to look fabulous)? Who knows. She may be sitting at her kitchen table across the stree wishing she had the freedom that I have now to do pretty much as I like. The Grass is Always Greener is a Universal concept, after all.

Finally, I’ve been watching a lot of Amy Schumer lately, as I am obsessed with the thought of her playing the title character in my feature screenplay, “The Adventures of Vulva Fervor.” I’d originally written it with Charlize Theron in mind. But after seeing “Trainwreck,” I decided that the part called for a great comic actor, not a stunner (much like Mike Myers in “Austin Powers”). Apparently Ms. Schumer has some thoughts on the Universe as well, with a little help from Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Hey Amy, if you need a dogsitter, or a sexy action-adventure-comedy feature to produce/star in, CALL ME!

Just putting it out there, Universe.