Apr 4 2018



Church Hats Sold Here

Church Hats Sold Here

I love the idea of Dressing for God. We should dress for God. It wouldn’t hurt to also dress for family, friends, strangers in the grocery store. I saw a woman at Lowe’s,  LOWE’S HARDWARE, whose outfit was meticulously put together: black and white sunhat, black and white ruffled sundress, black and white polkadot high-heeled yet casual sandals, large black and white sunglasses. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Me, I was in paint-covered trash bin-bound rags, buying more paint. I thought I was dressed perfectly for the occasion. But this woman – I still have the memory of the fabulous sight of her, and I’m grateful for that. I doubt she has any memory of me.

I dressed for my daddy the last month of his life, when he was in hospice. Every day I went to see him, I wore a dress or a skirt, not the usual for me. He was old and old-fashioned, and I wanted to look nice for him. A few days in, I realized that I was also was doing it for the other patients there. I could give them a reminder of the world of their youth, when women did wear dresses regularly. In fact, one of the patients propositioned me (it’s a funny little story). I suspect he had dementia, and I was the first woman he’d seen in a while who wasn’t a nurse. I declined the offer, but accepted the compliment.

My marriage was falling apart, and I found dressing this way cheered me up a little throughout the day. Men and women of all ages were kinder, more polite and respectful when I stopped in the store, or to get gas. I also felt a little more together, at a time when I was far from together inside, with a dying father and a dying marriage. But tapping into my often-neglected femininity was like conjuring my mother, whose presence was sorely needed at this time in my life.  My father’s life. My brothers’ lives.

I just talked myself into wearing a dress today.