Feb 12 2009

Job Opening: Mancub

It saddens me, but I knew the day would come. My mancub has left captivity to explore the jungle. I’m happy for him. No, I’m downright proud of him. He’s practically a full grown man now, and I like to think I played some small roll in making him the man he almost is today.

But it leaves a huge gaping void in my life. One that’s going to be so much fun to fill!

So I’m recruiting a new mancub.

Job Responsiblilites: be available for last minute repair calls, road-trip calls, whatever calls. Must be keenly intelligent; must clean-up well.

DESIRED EXPERIENCE: restraint; some general contractor knowledge and application;

DEMONSTRATED SKILLS: intuitive neck rubs; mounting heavy objects on cheap old shotgun apartment walls; stuntdriving; comedic timing; flirting

JOB REQUIREMENTS: must own car and valid driver’s license, must have respectable toolbox, toolbelt preferred; able to life heavy objects; cell phone with lots of minutes on monthly plan; take direction well; know when to give direction well; politically incorrect and not easily offended; must have good old-fashioned manners; can-do attitude.

Submissions accepted until position is filled.

Please leave contact details and feeding requirements in the comment section.

Nov 2 2008

“Mancub”, defined.



All women Of A Certain Age should have a Mancub. What is a Mancub? He is the Cabana-boy for those us living urban, cabana-less lives. He is a slightly furry, well-muscled puppy. Precious, there-when-we-call, cuddly, and safe. Not too safe. He could make a mess of our lives if we allowed it. So we “train” our Mancub early on to prevent…er, “accidents”, missteps if you will. And they fulfill a meaningful role in our lives. Companionship and affection when we need. Heavy objects mounted to our apartment walls (the best mancub owns a toolbelt — or at the very least a mean tool box. I know mine does) when we redecorate. And what do they ask in return? A hot meal, a nap, a belly-rub. A smart Mancub does not ask for more. And I highly recommend finding a smart one — it will make things much easier. Trust me.

Who could resist having a Mancub? Who would want to?



Mine came over last week to hang some cool, long (but heavy) mirrors I found in my basement. The plan was to hang them horizontally, to create 2 parallel long “lines” through my apartment to create the illusion of length. They were stuck together, courtesy of super heavy-duty sticky tape on back. So stuck together were they that when mancub was trying to separate them, one broke (they’re pretty cheap & thin, the mirrors). So now what? This turned out to be a happy accident. We hung them instead vertically in my bedroom, staggered, on a small wall between the window & door. It maximizes light, and looks awesome! AND I now have a full-length mirrors in the bedroom! However, this took longer than planned, and he had to leave for an appointment, I for work. But I left him a key, as he was going to return the next day to hang my closet door (I’d removed it when I painted the bedroom). He did not return the next day. He returned that night, and my door was hanging when I got home from work.